The Not So Normal Life of Fenrir
by The-Silent-Robin
Summary: Everyone has normal lives... Except for Fenrir. multi-chapter drabble fic! Warnings: Can contain OOC-ness, swearing, and a little references.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Eyoh guys! This will be a multi-chapter drabble fic (to make up for my absences for 2 months) and I hope this would... amuse you guys. I apologize if I have errors in grammar and spelling (since I typed this crap fast.) Some warnings though; characters can be kinda OOC, swearing, and there can be some little perverted jokes along the way. Let's get this sailin!

* * *

**Food Gone Wrong**

The brunette eyed her egg frying on the pan with an intense look. "This time, I won't fail." She said determinedly as she carefully flipped the egg. She slowly placed it on her plate. She wiped off the sweat on her face with the sleeve of her overlarge t-shirt. She confidently smiled at her cooking. It looked okay now, unlike before when she burned ALL the eggs in her house. She was confident that the egg would taste good. Yes, she didn't break the egg yolk this time. Yes, she put oil on the pan before frying the egg. And yes, she put the right amount of salt on the egg.

...

Okay, to be honest, she didn't know how much salt she put on the egg.

Well, at least it looked okay.

Now, all she needed was a person who would try her successful cooking.

_Knock, knock._

"Hey Maya, it's me Kota. Wanna watch Bugarally with me and Alisa?"

Perfect.

Maya rushed to the door and opened it. "Oh, hey Kota." She greeted. She led him inside and the beanie-head stood next to her counter. "So... you coming or what?" Kota asked. The brunette just fiddled with her fingers. "I will but...I was wondering if... you could try my egg. Well, this is like the first time I cooked an egg that didn't look like shit." She laughed nervously. She was really worried that Kota would reject. And she would have to find another person to taste.

Sakuya... she didn't want the Medic to faint in the Sick Bay.

Lindow... let's say he's lecturing the new New-Types. It would be a shame if he died in the middle of the lecture.

Alisa... she's as bad as she is.

Soma... no.

Just. No.

She didn't want to embarrass herself any further in front of HIM. Another reason is because he's way to blunt. Of course, she's open to criticism. But NOT destructive ones. It'll kill her girl pride.

"Sure" came a casual reply from Kota.

Maya widened her ruby eyes in relief and joy. "What, really? Thanks Kota!" Kota pulled a chair and eyed the egg carefully. She gulped as he cut a piece of the egg and brought it to his mouth. _'Don't get nervous... don't get nervous...'_ She chanted in her mind. Maya felt like this was like on TV, Kota was the main chef who told his fellow chef's the things they needed to improve on. While Soma...

He belongs to Hell's Kitchen.

..Maybe she was being a little mean.

"Kinda salty though..."

She jumped at his comment. "But..." She was waiting for the next thing he would say, until she was given thumbs up. "Overall, the egg's awesome!" Kota exclaimed with a cheeky grin. Maya grinned. The rhythm of her heart beat slowed and she cheered in joy. Her food was okay! Her egg was okay! Kota stood from his chair. "So... ready to go-" As he took one step, he fainted on the ground. Maya immediately stopped and looked at his form in shock. Kota fainted. "But... I thought... my egg was okay..." Was it because it was expired? Of course not, the eggs would be changed by the cleaners of Fenrir every-

Wait.

Cleaners of Fenrir.

Eggs.

She opened her refrigerator and saw the egg case. "Distributed by...Fenrir." She read. Then a familiar, strange, doctor appeared in mind. She clenched her fists and narrowed her eyes in annoyance and rage. There was no one who would do something as idiotic as him. That son of a bitch.

_"SA-KA-KI!"_

He must've injected the chicken that produced the eggs with Oracle Cells. She was gonna murder the old man who 'poisoned' the food to avenge her friend. But she remembered poor Kota on the floor. The brunette sighed.

"After bringing Kota to the Sick Bay."

Poor Kota indeed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Dress not to Impress**

"No...No! NO!"

Alisa and Sakuya cornered the scarred Leader in the room. A sadistic smile on their faces. "C-come on g-guys! Can't w-we talk this t-through?!" She asked hopelessly. "If we did, then you'd escape." Sakuya smiled a fake smile. There was no way they were letting her go. "Besides... isn't it time the boys saw how you're made of?" Alisa asked innocently. They walked further and Maya couldn't do anything but pray.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

_In Lindow's room..._

The boys heard a horrified scream from the other room. The screaming continued until they heard other voices.

"Alisa! Hold her down!"

"Got it!"

"NO! NO! NO! FUCK THAT SHIT! GET THAT THING FUCKING AWAY FROM ME!"

They all sat in silence. Kota was the first to break it. "Are... they okay there?" He asked confusingly. Lindow shrugged while looking at his 'magazine'. "I don't know, having a threesome maybe?" The blue hooded God Eater growled at him. "Do you always have to make a sexual remark?" He asked, appalled at Corporal's comment. Lindow just grinned. "Well, it's to lighten the mood! Now, what we're talking about before..." "About getting girls!" Kota reminded. "Right!" Soma could only bring his hand to his face.

"Perverted bastards..."

* * *

"Oh God..."

Maya looked at her reflection in the mirror. She wore a red strapless dress that reached her mid thigh. She curled her toes in her white high heels. She clutched her thin jacket in embarrassment. Her cleavage was clearly seen. The look on her face clearly shows she was not the least happy.

Alisa and Sakuya stood beside her. "See? You look more of a girl now, unlike your thick assault coat with those unfashionable pants with some sort of cow boy boots!" Maya glared at the remark. She was still not amused. Sakuya sighed. "Come on Maya, it's only for today. After the day ends, you can go back to being yourself again." Their Leader sighed in irritation. "Fine, but your responsibility if some pervert tries something funny."

"Deal! Now let's get shopping!"

"W-what?!"

"Didn't we say we'll show you're girly side to the boys?"

She could only groan in annoyance. She despised dresses SO much.

* * *

"Sometimes, you have to be feisty in making girls know you're worth their time"

Kota kept listing down everything Lindow has said for the past hour. Soma twitched as he tightly gripped his can of beer. He had heard enough of this shit. He threw his can at the trash bin (which landed perfectly) and made forward for the elevator. He pressed the up button, and the elevator doors opened. His eyes twitched at the sight. Not in an annoyed way.

He can't believe it.

His Leader was wearing a dress.

A DRESS.

He felt heat rush to his cheeks as he eyed the flustered girl. His stare was making her more embarrassed. "W-would you m-mind?" She said shyly. He couldn't take his eyes off her. _'Since when was Maya... __**cute**__?'_

The moment was destroyed when the Russian spoke. "Soma, you can have her AFTER we finish our shopping." Sakuya chuckled at this. "Don't worry Soma, you can have your time later." He glared and went in the elevator. Stupid Alisa for assuming. Stupid Sakuya for laughing at him. Stupid Maya for being so _cute._

"God damnit! Get out of my head!" He banged his head on the wall of the elevator. He flinched at the sharp pain but brushed it away.

Maya groaned as the boys surrounded her. "The dress fits you well ya know! See, you're not a boy anymore!" Shun commented. It took all her control to hold back her fist. Karel snorted. "At least act like a girl. That will make you cuter." The boys really knows how to push her buttons do they. "But she's cute anyway!" She was dragged away by Sakuya. "Now, now! Maya's taken!" "S-Sakuya!" Before they left, Lindow and Kota whistled. "Nice change Maya!"

"SHUT UP!"

Kanon, Gina and Licca looked at the first unit Leader in jealousy. "I didn't know... she had bigger ones than us." Licca trailed off. Kanon pouted "Should I get back to drinking milk again, Gina?" No answer. She turned and saw the eye patched girl sitting in the corner. "Gina...?"

"...I'm really jealous of all of you..."


	3. Chapter 3

"THE HORROR! OH GOD STOP IT! STOP IT ALISA, CLOSE THAT WINDOW RIGHT NOW!"

"I-I CAN'T! IT'S HANGING!

"IT'S STILL PLAYING! I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS TORTURE PLEASE!

"YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY ONE!"

"FUCK. THIS. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!"

* * *

_3 hours later of sucking it all up…_

**City of Mercy**

The two boys were impatiently waiting for the two female New-Types. They were pretty sure that they waited for 30 minutes already, yet not one of the pair seemed to arrive. Kota groaned loudly. "For God's sake, I'm going ahead! Geez, girls and their problems!" Soma was about to follow until he heard painfully slow footsteps from behind. "Kota, wait." He called out. Kota turned and raised an eyebrow, until he shrieked at the sight. "_OH MY GOD_ ZOMBIES!" That's when Soma turned too, startled by what he saw.

Alisa and Maya

Both of their faces in a dead-like appearance.

Their god arcs were just being dragged strangely, what could have possibly affected them in such way? The beanie-head started to question them. "What the hell happened to you guys?"

"Disgusting." And she jumped off the ledge.

Soma did a 'wtf' face and Kota frowned. "Well aren't you rude today?" "That's….that's not what she meant…." Maya suddenly pulled on both boy's ears, earning a pained yell from them both. "It perturbed us…. So disgusting it hunted us…."

The white haired god eater felt a vain throb. "Can you get straight to the point? We're wasting time and we haven't finished anything yet."

She whispered so darkly.

_"Boku no Pico."_

* * *

_A/N: I. AM. SO SORRY I HAVENT UPDATED FOR WHO-KNOWS-HOW-MANY-MONTHS. _

_SCHOOL'S PRESSURING ME AND I LACK MOTIVATION SO MUCH._

_I've been making promises, but i just keep breaking them :(  
I'll try to update my other story as well, if i get enough motivation and stand up from my lazy bum_

_Ah pls R/R? _


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